


scared

by totallynotbees



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky has issues, Flashbacks, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attack, Panic Attacks, don't hurt my son please, he deserves more love, i hate myself and my writing style, i wrote half of this during a panic attack and other half at 2:43 am and it's obvious, steve is comforting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 16:11:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15822402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotbees/pseuds/totallynotbees
Summary: bucky freaks out during a meeting and steve helps him out a bit.





	scared

He could see people's mouths moving, but he didn't hear any words, just a buzz of conversation that didn't make any sense to him. He unconsciously pulled his arms closer to his body, then pushed them back out because they can't know you're scared, no weaknesses. 

He looked around the room, checking for threats. Logically he knew he was safe - he'd seen the security at this place, and nothing could get past it. But he was still nervous. 

He was a terrible combination of exhausted and energized, the byproduct of an hour of sleep and two cans of some drink Tony kept hidden in his room.

Somewhere in the room a microphone squealed, and Bucky jumped slightly. Steve glanced over, and placed a hand on his arm. You ok? He mouthed. Bucky shrugged. “I'm just tired.” 

Liar! His brain screamed at him. His leg twitched. The dull roaring in his ears got louder, and he tapped his fingers against the table. Unconsciously they formed a pattern - three short taps, three long taps, three short taps. Morse code for SOS. A cry for help. 

Steve looked over at him again, and watched his hands with a look Bucky didn't understand. Once he registered the pattern, Steve placed one of his hands on top of Bucky's. “You're not okay.” The blond said softly. 

Steve raised a hand and said something to the group. Bucky didn't bother listening, he was already on his feet and heading for the door. There was pressure growing in his chest, and he couldn't hear anything except the jumble of voices and, faintly, his own heartbeat. 

There was pain now, too, exploding in his head burning through his body. He collapsed against a wall. Well, it might've been a wall. He didn't notice or care.

He hugged his arms to his chest, hearing his heart race, where am I, there was something touching him, no, someone, am I back with Hydra, he kicked at the other person and they weren't fighting back and there was a voice in his ear, not his Voice, not the bad one, it was comforting, what the fuck is going on, and all of the sudden there were arms wrapped around him and he opened his eyes and everything was calm.

It was like the aftermath of a storm, the way the world was still. That was how Bucky felt now, still and silent and utterly destroyed. He was curled up against a wall, legs pulled up to his chest. Slowly, he lifted his head. Steve was crouched beside him, with his arms wrapped tightly around Bucky.

Bucky took a while to calm down, and every slight noise made him wince. So the two sat together for a quarter of an hour, without saying a word. But they both knew that every second they were gone, people would wonder what they were doing.

Steve shifted and the sole of his shoe squeaked on the tile floor. Bucky flined, and Steve raised his hands. “I can't go back in there.” Bucky whispered, the sound of his voice like sandpaper on his brain.

He remembered when their roles were reversed, and he was the one gently taking care of Steve. Not that he minded - Steve could be a pain in the ass sometimes.

Steve stood up and for a second Bucky was panicking again. But he forced himself to breathe. Steve would come back. 

And he did, a few minutes later, with a bulky pair of black and silver headphones in one hand. He handed them to Bucky, who took them gladly and slipped them over his head. They were heavy, but the world was quiet when he wore them.

Steve led him towards the meeting room, one hand resting lightly on his arm like he didn't trust Bucky not to freak out. Honestly, Bucky wasn't sure if he trusted himself.

Steve opened the door and Bucky went inside. There was obviously an argument going on, and at least half the room was yelling. Bucky looked uncomfortable, but his headphones blocked out most of it. 

The rest of the meeting was aggressive and loud, and Bucky didn’t pay much attention to anything. He blindly followed Steve out of the room two hours later, headphones still on. Tony gave him a sympathetic look, but everyone else was too busy making passive aggressive (or outright aggressive, in a few cases) threats to the various parties involved in the meeting.

Which meant that nobody noticed how Steve kept his hand lightly on Bucky’s forearm, guiding him home once again.

Just as he’d always done.


End file.
